Blogtember

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I really had big plans to complete Blogtember. Then life happened and my schedule didn’t go as planned. Eep* started preschool last week and things went REALLY well. And then on week two…just as I got cozy at the library, I got a call to come pick him up at school. He is having major separation anxiety and I am now having to stay in class with him. Hoping this is only temporary and that he adjusts sooner rather than later. So needless to say, it has been a pretty stressful week.

P.S. I would LOVE advice from any moms who have “sensitive” children and/or to hear stories of how you handled your transition to preschool. Everyone I know has children that wave goodbye or don’t even notice their moms have left the building. =(

Today’s writing prompt is to react to the word “Comfort”. First of all, how COMFORTABLE does that blanket in the pic look? LOVE it. The first thing that comes to mind for me is HOME. There really is no place like home. Home is where the heart is. And it breaks my heart to hear my little baby say he wants to go home as soon as we get in the car to go to school. I can totally remember the feeling when I was young and my parents house was HOME to me. I always knew that no matter how bad of a day I had, I always felt better as soon as I got home. Part of me is wondering why I am even putting him through this stress when I am a SAHM, but the other part of me just wants him to get a head start so he is good and ready when he HAS to start Kindergarten. OMG. Not sure how that all relates back to comfort. All I know is I asked my husband to react to the word comfort and he said…”Huh? Um, relaxation.”  Maybe that should have been my answer. LOL.

*Eep is my sons nickname.

13 Comments ( Reply )

  1. Emma Finlayson
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 4:24 am

    Oh, poor eep and poor mummy! I think that these things take time. Is staying in the classroom helpful? or is it making things harder?? I don’t really have any advise other than hang in there!
    xo Emma
    http://strollingthecityinheels.com

    Reply

  2. Kimberly
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 4:48 am

    Aww, I’m so sorry he’s having a hard time with the transition! Every child goes through that separation anxiety phase (some at different ages) and mine never did the crying for school but they did do it when they were younger & being dropped off at the nursery at church. I would always tell the workers that if they couldn’t console/distract them & they were still crying after 10 minutes to call me. It’s the same concept as letting them learn to put themselves to sleep – they will cry more those first few nights, but it will eventually get less and less until they don’t do it at all. Hang in there momma – praying for you!! xo

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  3. Megan
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 6:17 am

    So sorry you’re going through this. Anytime your child is having a tough time, I think it hurts the Mommy more.

    My son would cry initially then it just gradually stopped. I was lucky in that we sent him to a private nursery where they didn’t mess around. He could cry if he wanted but I was not going to be called unless it was an emergency. I could watch from a window if it made me feel better but they really did try to nip in the bud. At first I thought it was a cruel way of doing things but now…I get it.

    The longer you stay with him, the longer it will last. He needs to be kept busy and that is their job when he is at school. I would try shorter increments but I wouldn’t go there to stay with him. He will start to think that you guys will go to school together and that won’t help.

    Either way, you know your son better than anyone and you will figure this out in due time. Good luck.

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  4. KW
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 6:56 am

    Oh poor momma! It’s just a sign of how great a mom you are that he misses you and it will pass. My oldest daughter went off to kindergarten no crying, but this summer she started doing it when she went to Spanish camp and I let her pick a special toy to take with her everyday to keep her company, a school buddy. That worked for her but my younger daughter went to the same summer camp (1st time away from mommy) and cried terribly the first week but her teachers were good at distracting, once she cried about 20 minutes 🙁 but the second week I told her that ” I AlWAYS come back for her and wanted her to have fun. I started bringing little prizes and treats when I picked her up and would remind her in the morning that I had to go searching for a prize for her and would come back when I found one. So she got excited about that and fought back her tears when I left her. She still tensed up and had tears but no crying, it was the sweetest brave face I have ever seen. I hope some of that helps you 🙂
    Love you blog!

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  5. Julie
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 7:18 am

    My heart hurts for you both! It’s like ripping off a bandaid, and gradual exposure will allow him to get used to it. We read the book “Llama Llama, Misses Mama” a lot, had him bring a transitional object from home, and would use phrases that built excitement when talking about school. Then, just building a really simple easygoing morning routine that we never deviated from at the moment he woke to the moment I left the school really helped. I also have only one boy and these little guys need more stimulation than we can give them at home no matter how much you engage them! You are doing the right thing to get him adjusted to school and that type of socialization. Its my son’s 2nd yr of preschool, and all the kids that were able to run off on their own had been going since they were 1 1/2 years old. What you’re going through is really normal. He just loves you and the safe space you’ve created for him! He’ll get there soon enough 🙂 Just think that by the time kindergarten starts, you’ll be one of those parents that just waves goodbye! Hang in there mama.

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  6. Melanie
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 8:05 am

    I had one that went off without a problem and one that was clingy. (For a while my husband’s name was “no not you” because that is what she would scream if she asked for something and he tried to give it to her instead of me.) I don’t remember what in particular we did to get her over it at preschool besides toughing it out. Have you tried bribing him with something he wants if he stays without crying? I will say she was a much more contented child once she learned she could exist without being at my side 24/7.

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  7. Lisa
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 9:13 am

    I am so sorry that your little one is stressed out and that you are feeling the effects as well. I can empathize as I have two children who really struggled through the early school years and it was so hard for them and for me to watch them and feel so powerless. We read books together about separating and I stayed with them until they felt comfortable for me to leave. My first son struggled through Nov. 1st…yes, the date remains with me…of his first preschool year and my youngest struggled daily until first grade…don’t know how I survived some days. That is key, however, you will make it through this difficult time and while you may never regard it fondly, you will survive and he will, too. I swear I thought we would all crash and burn with my first son and now he is a 16 year old HS senior, honor student, applying to Harvard. Stay strong and give lots of cuddles and hugs, it flies by all too fast.

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  8. Allie
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 10:32 am

    That blanket looks SO cozy! And your husband’s answer is pretty awesome. I’m sure my husband’s answer would have been along those same lines! 🙂

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  9. Because Shanna Said So
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 10:37 am

    Poor little guy and YOU! Hang in there. This is new to the both of you and changing routines can be hard at the beginning, but he will get used to it. I think you are 100% doing the right thing by keeping him there. It’s good for him socially and to learn things that you can’t teach him. I promise it will get better…both of my girls went through it and honestly, sometimes I think it’s harder on the parents than it is the kids. Sending you big hugs of comfort! 😉 xoxo

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  10. Jen
    Sep 21, 2013 @ 7:32 am

    A little photo of you that he can carry in his pocket. Worked for my son.

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  11. Raluca | WhatWouldGwynethDo
    Sep 21, 2013 @ 6:51 pm

    Ack, I went through this with my first and am now doing it again with my second. It’s possibly one of the worst rites of passage in parenthood. I can promise you, however, when it does pass and he starts to love it and thrive there (because he will) it will bring you both so much joy and fulfillment. Stick with it, try to rip it off like a bandaid (I actually find the faster I get out of there, the better or it prolongs the attachment) and try to develop a strong rapport with the teachers so you can trust them and work with them. Also consider sending a lovey or family pic for him to have handy and/or a favorite book from home that they can read to him. They should be helping with ideas and support, too. Good luck mama!

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  12. Ann
    Sep 22, 2013 @ 5:59 pm

    I went through this with my son when he started pre-school. After several attempts at trying to understand where his fear was coming from I finally realized he was afraid I would not pick him up. Out of despiration I found a toy key that i put on a necklace cord and told him that as long as he had the key my car would always know when it was time to come back and get him. Having that key seemed to be the security he needed while we were apart. The key went from being something he carried into class with him to something that we left in my car while he was in school. Eventually, we were able to put the key back with the toys and I got my necklace cord back! It helped that on the way to school each day we talked about how much fun he was going to have and what he could expect. At the teachers urging I also kept our good byes short . It took about a month but he did eventually make friends and look forward to going. He is now a happy kindergartener who loves going to school and is excited about learning to read! good luck!

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  13. Kim
    Sep 24, 2013 @ 7:57 am

    The time we get to spend with our little ones is precious and fleeting. You could keep him home a bit longer…or a lot longer…and not ever regret it. I’m a homeschooling mom of two well-adjusted boys ages 16 and 13. I’ve loved every minute of it. No regrets.

    I really enjoy your blog. You are lovely and have a refreshingly “comfortably pretty” style. It inspires me to keep making that effort every day — even if I’m just running errands or staying home with my family. It’s worth it to look my best. Thank you for sharing!

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